


Kiss and Tell

by hermione_vader



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Celebrities, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-08
Updated: 2013-02-08
Packaged: 2017-11-28 15:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/676187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermione_vader/pseuds/hermione_vader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally written for Avengerkink.  After the Chitauri attack, the city of New York holds a giant fair to raise money, and Tony decides the Avengers should run a kissing booth.  They have Fury's grudging approval, but most of them are skeptical.  Thor, however, is eager to embrace this Midgardian tradition and he gets an eyeful (and a mouthful) of wacky humanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Original prompt [here.](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/6021.html?thread=9076357#t9076357)

It had been nearly six months since the Chitauri's (and Loki's) attack on New York, and the Avengers had begun to hear whispers (or read internet rumors) of a charity carnival held on streets that had already been repaired to raise money for the places that were still damaged.  And then they heard further whispers that they would participate.  Thor for one was fascinated by the possibility.  
  
"What would we do if they approached us?" Thor asked one day after they returned to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters after a mission.  "Would we perform together or alone?"  
  
"I think I could figure out facepainting," Steve said as he set his shield down and took off his helmet.  
  
"We could set Natasha on a spinning wheel and I could fire arrows at her," Clint suggested.  
  
Natasha crossed her arms and glared most gloriously.  "I refuse to be a spectacle."  
  
"We could put Bruce on the wheel and see if he turns green!" Thor remarked.  "It would be a reckless venture, but the public would enjoy it immensely, I believe."  
  
"No."  Bruce's eyes grew wide and he shook his head.  "No."  
  
"Guys, don't worry about it," Tony told them as he stepped out of his suit.  "I've got it all taken care of."  
  
"Excuse me?"  Natasha glared harder, if that was possible (and Thor was sure it was).  
  
Thor felt excited at this news.  "Why didn't you speak of this sooner, Tony?  And what would you have us do?"  
  
Tony smirked.  "Kissing booth."  
  
That sounded intriguing, but as Thor glanced at the others' worried and angry expressions, he was unsure of what this meant.  "Kissing booth?  What would that involve?"  
  
"We'd have to kiss people," Bruce explained.  "They'd line up, put their donations in a jar, and we'd smooch total strangers.  Nice way to catch mono."  
  
Thor considered this for a moment.  "I don't know.  That sounds like it could be quite fun."  
  
"Fun for _you_ ," Clint interjected as he put his bow away.  "You and Steve'd get all the action---"  
  
"No I wouldn't," Steve said quickly.  
  
Clint looked down, setting his cache of arrows next to the box."Yeah, you two would, since you're the big, blond, beautiful bash brothers.  I'm just the archer.  Nobody notices the archer and nobody's gonna kiss the archer."   
  
"I would kiss the archer," Thor volunteered.  
  
"Thanks, but no thanks, big guy."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Clint,.  Fury would never let us get away with something like that," Bruce assured him.  
  
"That's where you're wrong, Bruce," Tony told him.  "I already cleared it with Fury.  He's fine with it as long as we handle it entirely and don't affiliate it directly with S.H.I.E.L.D."  
  
"I don't think I'd be able to kiss random strangers," Steve said.  "I mean, that's kind of an intimate act."  
  
Tony rolled his eyes.  "You are such an adorable, old-fashioned little Martian, Captain.  It's over fast and it's not like you have to use tongue."  
  
"Even so, I really don't think..."  
  
"So what does Pepper think of your idea, Tony?"  Natasha asked.   
  
Thor had not considered that.  "Yes, Tony, what does your good lady think of you roaming the streets, begging for kisses?"  
  
Tony stopped smirking.  "She's fine with it.  We came up with the idea together."  
  
"I am most sure you did."  
  
"She says that she is beyond the brink of jealousy in our relationship."  
  
"Probably because no one else would want you," Bruce remarked.  
  
"Yes, you're absolutely right, Bruce.  And we _are_ doing a kissing booth, and you're all going to have fun."  Tony forced a ridiculous grin.  
  
Thor patted Tony on the back.  "I know I, for one, shall try."  
  
"Thank you, Thor."  
  
The others scowled at the two of them, but Thor simply chuckled.  Perhaps this would be horrible or it might be wonderful, but no matter the outcome, he was very curious as to what the Midgardians might do.

*

The day of the carnival finally arrived.  The sun shone down on the streets that had been blocked off by those contraptions Midgardians called "sawhorses".  Thor was sure that the buildings gleamed most wonderfully in the sunlight, but he caught a small glimpse of it when it streamed in through the flaps of their tent every time someone entered or exited.  He sat at his own table, as did each of the other Avengers, so as not to cause overcrowding, as Tony had put it.  Thor's table was between Clint's and Bruce's, and they had a perfect view of the entrance.  For the first hour and a half, no one entered.  Not one person.  Tony ran outside to see what the problem was while the rest of them waited inside the tent.  
  
Clint leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on the table.  "See? I told you they wouldn't want to kiss us."  
  
"No, my friend, you said they wouldn't want to kiss _you_ ," Thor corrected.  
  
"Same difference."  Clint started tapping his feet on his table.  
  
Just then, Tony rushed back inside.  "Okay, it turns out the electronic sign I installed on the roof said 'AVENGERS' KUSSING BOOTH.'  I fixed the typo, so we should be getting some business any time soon."  
  
"Whoopee."  Clint continued tapping his feet.  
  
People did begin to come in, as Tony had predicted.  Five "frat boys", the kind that Thor had only seen in movies and shows on the TV, arrived to kiss Natasha, and she did so with grimace on her face.  Thor supposed she did it only because they put a generous amount of bills in the jar (though they initially tried to stuff them down her shirt, only to have her grab their wrists quite roughly).  Then three young women in bosom-flattering "spaghetti-strap tank tops," as Thor believed they were called, marched up to Tony's table and kissed him, though he looked around nervously at first.  Thor suspected that Tony feared that perhaps Pepper (or worse: Fury) was watching him through hidden cameras, like the ones at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.  This was probably not an irrational fear.  
  
After those women left, the tent was quiet for a few minutes.  Then a tired-looking woman pushing a stroller entered.  She glanced around confusedly at first, but then picked up her plump baby and strode over to Thor's table.  
  
"Oh my God, hi.  I mean...it's really all of you.  I thought it would be impersonators or something," she said.  Her cheeks flushed pink.  
  
"No, madam, we are 'the real deal,' as they say," Thor assured her.  
  
"I can see that.  I'm Christy, and this is Owen."  She bounced the baby on her hip and he cooed.  She pulled a dollar bill out of her pocket.  "So I just put the money in the jar?  No catch?"  
  
Thor smiled at her.  "None at all, Christy."  
  
"Okay.  Here goes."  She leaned forward and puckered her lips.  Thor bent his head down and kissed her.  He held it for a moment before he broke away just as Owen began to grab his hair.  Christy giggled.  "Wow.  You are very good, Thor."  
  
"Why, thank you."

"I was just wondering...could I get a picture of you holding Owen?"  She held the baby out towards him.  
  
"Of course.  As you can see, we are not busy at the moment."  Thor smiled at the baby and held him as Christy had.  
  
"That's great," Christy said as she rifled through her purse for her camera.  "I want to send it to my husband.  He's deployed right now, and he loves all of you guys, but you're his favorite, Thor.  In fact, he has such a giant man-crush on you that if he gets mad at me for kissing you, it's because he's jealous that he couldn't be here to kiss you himself."  
  
"Really?  I am most flattered."  Thor held Owen up as Christy snapped the picture.  Then he kissed Owen's head, right in the middle of his whisps of fair, downy hair.  "There.  Now your husband shall kiss the same spot, and indirectly kiss me."  Thor ignored Clint's snickering.  
  
"Wow.  I hadn't even thought of that.  He's going to freak out when he hears about this."  Christy took Owen back and kissed Thor again, on the cheek this time.  "Wait, do I need to donate more for that?"  
  
Thor chuckled.  "No, consider that one 'on the house,' as they say."  
  
"Oh my gosh, thank you.  You guys are all fantastic!  See you later!"  She put Owen back in the stroller and waved as she walked past the tent's flaps.  
  
Thor waved back.  "Goodbye, Christy!"  
  
Clint did a head count.  "Okay, so we got a bunch of douchebags, a couple of hot chicks, and an army wife.  Business is really booming, isn't it?"  
  
"People will come, Clint," Thor told him.  "People will come."  
  
And in the next few hours, people poured in.  Thor loved being right.


	2. Chapter 2

The new wave of visitors began with a gaggle of six old ladies.  As soon as they entered the tent, they began pointing at the Avengers and talking amongst themselves.  
  
"Good Lord, just look at them all!" said a small like with short, white hair and wire-rimmed glasses.  "How do we choose which one to kiss?"  
  
"I've only got one option, but she's gorgeous," remarked the one closest to first lady.  That one was a plump woman with long, steel gray hair.  
  
"Maybe we should take turns kissing all of them," a stout, auburn-haired lady suggested.  
  
"I can't kiss the one with the bow and arrow," said a skinny lady with her silver hair pulled back in a tight bun.  "He looks too much like my grandson, you know, the one who got married on the cruise where we all got dysentery."  
  
"Alright, Mamie, you don't have to kiss him," the auburn-haired woman told her, patting the skinny lady on the shoulder.  
  
Clint furrowed his brow.  Thor did his best to stifle his laughter.  
  
"You girls can keep deciding.  I know which one I want."  A plump woman with curly, white hair and large, purple plastic-rimmed glasses strode up to Thor's table.  She dropped a ten-dollar bill into the jar, looped her arms around Thor's neck, pulled him down, and kissed him.  She was most enthusiastic about it.  
  
"Celestine!" Mamie gasped.  
  
"It's alright, ma'am.  That's kinda supposed to happen," Bruce assured her.  
  
Celestine tried to poke her tongue into Thor's mouth, but he kept his teeth closed as much as possible because he thought he should not perform such acts with an elder, especially one from a realm where he was a guest.  Finally, she broke away.  "Wow, you're fantastic.  Did you know that?"  She squeezed his arm.  "Oh my God, it's like iron!  You're something else, big boy."  
  
The only one in their group who had not yet spoken, a slim woman with puffed up blonde hair, walked up to Bruce's table and shook his hand.  "Hi, I'm Venita.  You look remarkably like my late husband."  
  
"Um, thank you?" Bruce said, blinking rapidly while Venita put a five-dollar bill in his jar.  Then they kissed.  Venita was much more modest than Celestine.  
  
The other ladies soon walked up to their partners: the short-haired lady, Frances, chose Clint, insisting he was "a sweet, rugged sort of handsome"; the stout, auburn-haired woman, Susie, chose Tony; Loretta, the steely-haired lady, picked Natasha; and Mamie chose Steve.  
  
"You don't know how many decades Mamie's been waiting to kiss Captain America," Celestine whispered.  Frances nodded.  "She used to drag us to the movie theater on the day they'd show the old newsreels from the war when we were still children, and she'd get starry-eyed when he'd show up."  
  
"Thank you, Captain," Mamie said shyly after she and Steve kissed.  The Captain simply blushed a deep red.  
  
Clint snickered again, but Thor thought it a nice sentiment.  Thor also noticed younger people filtering in behind the old ladies.  So did Celestine, apparently.  
  
"Well, I guess we should get going!  Come on, ladies!  We can come back for another round later," she told her friends, helping them shuffle past the newcomers towards the tent's flaps.  
  
"You are ridiculous, Cel," Loretta told her.  
  
"Don't I know it.  Stay beautiful, big boy!" Celestine called to Thor as she exited.  
  
"I shall try!" he answered.  
  
"They were nice," Bruce said after a few moments.  
  
"Yeah.  Weird, but nice," Clint added.  
  
"I hope they come back," Thor said.  
  
Then they all turned to their newest customers.  Things were being to improve, slowly but surely.  Thor smiled to himself at this change of fortune.

*

After that, Thor kissed a multitude of people of all shapes, colors, and sizes.  At first, his line was filled with women, until Clint decided to be cheeky.  
  
The archer jumped in front of a large middle-aged woman brandishing two twenty-dollar bills and made what Thor thought was called a "kissy face."  
  
"Lay one on me, Odinson!" he said, winking.  Then Clint cupped Thor's chin and pulled him down into a long, deep kiss.  Thor let Clint poke his tongue in.  
  
"My friend, what in Odin's name are you thinking?" Thor asked, breaking the kiss.  "You cannot deny good people this pleasure, especially when you have your own customers to please."  
  
"They're not you."  Clint kissed him again, even harder this time.  
  
Thor pulled away again.  "Exactly."  
  
"Oh, I really don't mind," the lady behind Clint said.  "I'll donate just to watch the two of you."  She reached past Clint and placed her bills in the jar.  
  
Clint gave Thor one last kiss, then tossed his head back and yelled, "BRUCE, YOU'RE NEXT!"  
  
"No, I'm not!" Bruce answered.  But Clint ran over and kissed him anyway.   
  
Thor addressed his customers.  "Good people of New York and of these United States of America, I apologize most thoroughly for my colleague's behavior."  
  
The ladies evidently did not mind.  "Oh, he's alright."  "He's just a goofball---my teenager's the same way."  "Any chance you could do that with Captain America?"  
  
Apparently, Midgardians cared more for arousal than propriety.   
  
So many people came in and out of the tent throughout the day that they all began to blur together in Thor's mind.  One middle-aged woman began to look like the next and all of the young ladies somehow resembled each other as well.  But a few visitors stuck out in his mind by the time this odd adventure was over.  
  
The first one was a spiky-haired teenager named Andrew, who stepped up to the table while his four friends snapped pictures.  
  
"Uh, hi, am I allowed to be in this line?" the boy glanced down at the grains of wood in the table.  
  
"Of course," Thor told him with a broad grin.  
  
"Oh.  Cool.  I came over here 'cause I saw you and your boyfriend..."  
  
"He's not my boyfriend," Thor corrected.  "Simply an overenthusiatic friend."  
  
"Oh.  Sorry."  The boy began to turn away.  
  
Thor put his hand on the boy's shoulder.  "Don't be."  
  
"Seriously?"  The young man leaned forward and kissed him roughly, like one unpracticed in such arts.  
  
The boy's friends cheered and took more pictures.  "WOO-HOO!  GO ANDREW!!!"  "First kiss _and_ it's with a freaking superhero!"  "OUT OF THE CLOSET!  FINALLY!!!"  
  
"Out of the closet?"  Thor asked.  Such an unusual euphemism.  "Was it stuffy in there?"  
  
Andrew ran his hand through his spiky blond hair.  "Yeah.  Yeah, it was.  Thanks, man.  You're the best."  He slipped two dollar-bills into the jar, and patted Thor on his upper arm.  "See ya later."  
  
"Goodbye, Andrew!"  Thor waved as Andrew and his friends left.

Then there was Marisol, a black-haired girl of about six who shoved a large jar of coins onto the table.  "My name's Marisol.  Here's half my piggy bank."  
  
Thor marveled at the amount of coins in the jar.  
  
"Only half?" Thor asked, chuckling.  
  
"Mm-hm."  She nodded.  Her dark eyes were like marbles as she looked up at him.  "Well, my aunties and my abuela helped a little bit.  They wanted me to have enough so I could kiss a prince.  I heard Tia Claudia say you're the closest I'll ever get to Prince Charming."  
  
"I doubt that's true.  Grown-ups aren't always right, you know."  
  
Her dark eyes grew wide.  "They're not?"  
  
He shook his head.  Then he crouched down and let her go to the side of the table so she could kiss him on the cheek.  
  
"Your face is scratchy.  But I kind of like it.  And you're really nice."  She giggled.  
  
Thor kissed her on the forehead.  "Why, thank you, little one."  
  
"Bye!"  Marisol ran off, still giggling.  
  
Thor turned back to the next person, only to see a familiar head of dark hair paired with bespectacled blue eyes.  
  
"Oh my God, Thor.  Is there any time you're _not_ adorable?"  Darcy hugged him.  
  
He laughed and patted her on the back.  "Darcy!  How long have you been here?"  
  
"I've been in here for over an hour.  I can't kiss you guys while I'm on the clock, even if I want to.  So here's my chance.  You and Clint are the only ones I haven't done yet."  
  
"Well, let's change that."  He tipped her head up with his finger and kissed her slowly.   
  
"Whoa!  Jane's such a lucky bitch."  She put ten dollars in the jar.  "HAWKEYE, I'M COMING TO GET YOU!!!"  
  
"Run, Clint, run!" Thor called over to the next table.  
  
This was turning out to be great fun.  And the day was only half over.

*

In the afternoon, some of Thor's customers began to seem a bit _familiar_.  Not because he'd already met them, but because he'd _seen_ them.  Somewhere.  Or perhaps he hadn't and he was simply being silly.  That was mostly likely the case, since Midgardians did tend to resemble each other.   
  
Such was the case with his next customer, a very handsome middle-aged man with a fine head of gray hair.  Any other color would have diminished this fellow's looks, Thor decided.  
  
"Welcome, sir," Thor greeted.  Just in case he had met the man before, he added, "It is wonderful to see you on this fine day."  
  
"Hi, there...Thor, right?  I'm George," the man said.  He had a very charming grin.  Thor noticed as George slipped a 100-dollar bill into the jar.  "I gotta say, I'm a fan.  You look great in the cape.  Much better than I've ever looked in a cape."  
  
"Thank you, sir, but I'm sure you would look quite dashing in a cape."  
  
George shook his head.  "No, I don't.  Believe me.  Anyway..."  George placed his hands on Thor's cheeks and they kissed.  George was a most... _graceful_ kisser, if not as passionate or enthusiastic as some of the other people who'd visited the tent.  Still, it was quite pleasant.  "Wow.  You're better than most of my co-stars."  
  
"Thank you, George.  You are very skilled as well."  Thor patted his hand.  
  
"Don't I know it.  I'll see you around, Thor."  
  
"I hope so."  
  
As George walked away, Thor glanced over and saw Bruce staring after him.  
  
"What's wrong, Bruce?"  
  
Bruce looked away.  "Nothing.  I just thought...never mind.  I think I'm seeing things."  
  
Just as Bruce started rubbing his temples, a slim, dark-haired, sultry faced young woman in a low-cut shirt stepped up to his table and placed her money in the jar.  "Uh, hi.  I'm Megan.  I had to come over here because you push all of my nerdy-guy buttons.  And even the Hulk is sexy.  And I don't feel guilty because my husband is in Black Widow's line."  
  
"Alright, then, it's nice to meet you, Megan."  They kissed, and Thor turned back to his line of eager customers.  By the time he could look back over at Bruce's table, Megan had left.  
  
"Do you feel like you've seen her somewhere before, Bruce?"  Thor asked.  
  
Bruce's face twisted into a look of pure confusion.  "I don't know.  I feel like she should be running away from a giant robot or Godzilla or something.  Is Tony pranking us?"  
  
"I'm not sure."  Thor could not discern how he could be pranking them, but he'd question Tony about it later.

As they discussed this, Thor saw Tony hurrying over towards their tables.  
  
"Quick heads up, guys: Brad just kissed Natasha _and_ Steve.  Angelina looks _pissed_ and she's headed in your direction," Tony told them quite rapidly.  
  
Thor raised his eyebrows.  "Who?  What?  I don't under---"  
  
Tony rushed away and Thor's customers suddenly parted like the sea in an animated film he watched with Steve once.  A brown-haired woman approached the table with six diverse-looking children in tow.  The woman was attractive, but not beautiful: her eyebrows were too sharp, her eyes too...animal-like, her face too angular, and her lips were so puffed up that it could not possibly be natural.  He did recognize her, though, perhaps from a magazine or a film.  She was pleasing, but Thor was not sure she deserved the awed reverence everyone else in the tent gave her.  
  
A little girl with short, choppy blonde hair (who looked nearly like a little boy) at the woman's side chirped, "Thor, where's your cape?  And your helmet?  And your hammer?  Why did you leave them at home?"  
  
"Because he doesn't need them for this, Shi," the woman told her daughter.  Then she looked back at Thor with a calculated smile that nearly reminded him of Loki.  Everyone around them fell silent. "My middle daughter is a huge fan of yours.  We're all just so excited to meet you.  I'm Angie, but the way."  
  
"It's fantastic to meet you, Angie.  And children."  Thor nodded at them and they giggled and whispered to each other.  
  
"Kids, put your money in the jar," Angie told them, gently pushing them forward.  They dropped an assortment of change and dollar bills in the jar and stepped back, smiling up at him.  
  
Angie pulled Thor forward, slung her arm around his neck, and whispered, "You're the sexiest man in this tent.  You know that, right?"  
  
Thor really hadn't thought about it.  And he didn't have time to, as Angie smashed her overly puffy lips against his.  This was an angry kiss, filled with passion and rage not meant for him.  After a few moments, Thor broke the kiss gently and kissed her on the cheek.  Every pair of eyes in the place was locked on him.  
  
"That was a most interesting experience, Angie," he said, straightening up.  "But I do hope you manage to reconcile with your husband."  
  
"Oh, we're not married yet."  
  
"Really?  Fascinating.  I hope you will not let my friends ruin your impending union."  
  
"Thank you, Thor."  She gave him a sultry smile.  
  
"Oh, and uh, one last thing," Bruce began.  "He's an Asgardian: Earthly seductions don't work on him."  
  
"I'll remember that."  She gave them one last sultry stare and sauntered off towards the tent flaps.  Thor saw that she rejoined her partner (a man who had no doubt been a most beautiful youth once) just before the exit.  
  
The crowd began to jibber and squawk and chatter when a giant _THUD_ interrupted them: Clint had fallen flat on his back, laughing to himself almost deliriously.  
  
"Sorry, folks, I just need to lie here for a sec so I can etch that in my mind forever," he told his customers.  
  
They stared nervously at first, but Thor's laughter set everyone at ease.  Just another odd event in this strange realm.

*

The day finally came to a close.  The sunlight no longer streamed through the tent flaps, though a deep amber glowed behind them as the customers exited.  The last round of visitors slowly filtered out, until there were perhaps a dozen left: eights loud and gregarious sisters and their daughters.  They all insisted on engaging everyone in conversation after their kisses, and the entire tent took on the atmosphere and volume level of an Asgardian feast (with less mead).  Thor got two kisses and generous donations from all of them, except the youngest sister, Bridget, who refused to engage in such behavior (for religious reasons, one of her sisters said), and the third sister, Helena, and her daughter, Emma Rose, who kissed him three times each.  
  
As the ladies began to exit, one by one, a curly-haired man walked in and got into Tony's line.  Thor heard Tony say, "Sorry, I'm closing up."  Natasha said something similar.  
  
"I, uh, well...yeah, closing.  Sorry," Steve spluttered.  
  
"What he said," Bruce added as the man stepped up to his table.  
  
Thor now saw why they refused.  The man had the extremely strange fortune of looking like Loki, with the exception of his curly blond hair.  Thor knew why they were alarmed, but he also knew that he most certainly would have been alerted if his brother had escaped his prison or caused outside trouble from within, so perhaps this was just a disturbing coincidence.  
  
"Dude, if these guys won't kiss you, I will," Emma Rose said from the back of the tent.  She gave all of them a hard glare that most greatly reminded Thor of Sif.  
  
The most boisterous of her aunts, Sophie (a tall, blonde woman who reminded Thor of someone, but he couldn't guess who), stuck her head back in the tent.  "Hell, I'll kiss 'im, too!"  Her sisters peered back in and heartily agree, even the devout Bridget.  
  
"Thank you, ladies.  I think," the man said, looking flustered.  "It's alright, though, really."  
  
"I'll take you right here, sir," Thor told him, smiling.  "But thank you for your help, ladies."  
  
"Any time!"  Emma Rose stuck her arms in the air and gave him a double thumbs-up.  
  
"Alright, then," the not-Loki man began as he stuck his bills in the jar, "I feel a bit awkward.  I've never done one of these things before."  
  
"Do not worry.  I hadn't, either, until this morning," Thor said.  
  
"No, I don't suppose they have these where you come from," the man agreed.  "Oh, yeah, my name's Tom, by the way."  
  
"That's my son's name!" Sophie shouted from between the tent flaps.  "You win!"  
  
"Um, right."  
  
"It's very nice to meet you, Tom."  Thor leaned forward and kissed him.  The kiss was a very soft, sweet one.  He may have let it last one or two moments too long.  But he now knew the others had nothing to be afraid of.  
  
"Wow."  Tom jerked his head back and blinked.  "Wow."  
  
"I try my best," Thor said as he glanced past Tom and noticed the ladies slipping out of the tent, exchanging satisfied grins.  
  
"Yes, you clearly do.  Thank you.  I thought I'd missed this, but I'm so glad I didn't.  You were fantastic."  Tom shook his hand and then made his way to the tent flaps.  He waved.  "I'll see you later, man."  
  
Thor waved back.  "Until we meet again, Tom!"

The Avengers sat in silence for several minutes until Clint spoke.  
  
"So I can't figure out if that kid looks more like Loki or somebody from a PBS miniseries.  You know, like _Downton Abbey_ , or the one with James Bond's boss and that evil _Harry Potter_ professor."  Everyone stared at him.  "What?  You people don't get bored?"  
  
Bruce shrugged.  "He seemed okay, considering."  
  
"Probably just Loki checking up on us," Tony remarked.  "He needs to learn to disguise more than his hair though.  It's Spying 101."  
  
"He wasn't Loki," Thor said.  
  
Tony gave him a sideways glance.  "How do you know?"  
  
"His kisses were nothing like Loki's."  
  
They fell silent again, until Clint grimaced.  "I DO NOT want to know how you know that!"  
  
Everyone else shuddered and nodded.  After that, the conversation fell to how many kisses everyone got and why Clint and Bruce managed to draw so many admirers (Thor knew they would never be convinced that they were worthy of it).  Amidst the prattle, Thor stared at the tent flaps and grinned.  Of all of his adventures in Midgard, this had been the kindest.  That was all that mattered.


End file.
